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Friday, December 30, 2011

this one's for the girls.

Who ever had a broken heart.


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                      "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
                          and saves those
                                 who are crushed in spirit."
                                -Psalm 34:18


  I kind of had this "ah-ha" moment the other night. About a guy I dated. And broke up with. And when I did, I didn't understand why the Lord allowed our relationship to end. More than losing the guy, it was mostly a loss of my dream to get married and have a family....losing that relationship made it all seem so much further away. I didn't understand why the Lord took "him" away. But now, boy am I glad He did. At the time, it seemed like the Lord was asking me to cut off my right arm...it seemed unbelievable, mean, heartless... senseless even. Yet, time has passed...and I am thankful.

He knows better than I do. Ha. Would would have thought, right?! The God of Universe knew when I was kicking and screaming "NO!!" that what He was doing was best. Well, He did. And I am a more humbled (and might I add, happy) version of myself because of it.

True, painful, searing heartache...the kind of keeps you up late at night sobbing, that sucks the wind and the life out of you, the kind that makes you not care (about life, or eating, or living another day).

Now, brokenhearted does not just refer to break ups with a boyfriend. Or a husband. Your heart break could be different. And very possibly, quite a great deal WORSE. Loss of a loved one. Loss of a child. It is loss that I am referring to. Loss in general. Loss of something so close to your heart you can't breathe because it's gone.
I'm just (in this post) focusing on break-ups because it is something close to my heart lately, something I recently experienced, and something that I think (to some degree or another) all of us women can relate to.

I get the "what if he comes back"s and the "maybe the Lord will change his heart"s. I get the "but I loved him"s and the "I miss his family." I get the memories that come back at the most random times...
When you are driving to work and you're behind a car that matches his, it's even the same color...and memories flood back. When "your song" comes on the radio at the most unexpected time, and tears instantly flood your eyes. When you can't go into certain restaurants because that was "our place". Or when you're at the mall and you spot some guy walking who looks just like him, and your breath catches in your chest...because it's not him. He's gone.


I get it. And though I've long been called "mellow dramatic" at times, I love hard. I love long. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I care much, and with that comes something that hurts: loss. We girls who love hard also grieve hard. Which means we cry hard, we miss hard, and we struggle hard.


"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."
-Job 1:21

Cry it out, darlin'. And know... from a fellow once-heartbroken sister, that you're gonna be okay. Trust me...I really thought I was not gonna be okay. And I am. You're headed for a better life.

I remember thinking that I would rather have severe physical pain than continue to experience the emotional trauma I was going through due to a breakup.
You give a little piece of your heart away, a piece you can never get back.
And that hurts. Alot.

In a way, I know there's nothing I can say (or anyone else) that can make it all better. No amount of break-up CD mixes from your girlfriends, chocolate bars, sad movies to cry to, or the well-meaning "it's OK, he wasn't that great of a guy anyway" that can make you feel better. Only God can. The Lord. Your King. Who knows your heart better than you do... who loves you more than "he" ever did. Who cries with you, and wipes away your tears.

I also know, time heals wounds. It really, really does. Time can be your best friend. Don't rush it. One step at a time, girlfriend. Even though it doesn't feel like it, you're gonna smile again. (I promise!)

I find this comforting, when the Lord allows things I don't understand. He is in control of people's hearts. Yes, people have free choice, but He softens. He hardens. He is in charge.

“The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes.”
–Proverbs 21:1
  I also know, suffering and loss make us stronger. And more compassionate. It makes us depend on the Lord more. I read this the other day and think it's true:
So if you're in the depths of despair
and you feel like you'll never get out.
Know this...

Someday, girl - it's going to be okay.
You're headed for a better life.
please,
remember:

you are beautiful, 
you are special,
and
you
are
 FABULOUS,
baby!

***
New Series: Friday iPhone Photo Drop
{idea inspired by Kelle Hampton}
from my Instagram.
{to follow, search: erin_sweetnessitself}

XO
Erin

*photos by photographer Joshua Telle and... moi! ;)

12 comments:

  1. Girl this spoke right to me! I went through an awful break up in march and the hardest part is the maybes that come along. Deciding to stop hoping for the best in him and finding hope in the plan God has for me has made all the difference in the world! Have a great new years eve!

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  2. I definitely think loss brings us closer to the Lord, whether it be a romantic breakup, loss of a friend, or death. Loss makes us cling to something and I just hope that we all learn to cling to the Lord. Great post!

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  3. Such a beautiful, beautiful post my dear....yes us girls... no matter our age.. can relate to a broken heart ....especially for those of us who love hard.

    Your wise outlook in an inspiration...wishing you much love in the coming New Year...your blog is so beautiful...thanks for sharing your heart!

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  4. Thank you Erin. This was such a great post for me to read today, of all days. I am terrified about starting a new year at midnight. A new year without him. After 4 and a half years....I don't know what life without him looks like and that is scary. But you're right...I will look back one day and see that when I thought my world was falling apart, that is when God was placing the pieces together for my good. :) I know He is smiling down on me and saying, "I know you're in pain, but girl, things are just getting good." :)

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  5. you are so right, time is on your side. the more that goes by, the better. Best wishes to your in the next year to come!
    -wHiT
    www.blacklittlebutton.blogspot.com

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  6. Good post... too often we think that our heartbreaks over break-ups will never heal, but later on, we can see that we would much rather have what we have now than what we might have had then. :)

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  7. Could not agree more! Like you, God definitely revealed the same thing to me after a break-up.I should have been walking...(eh, running!) away from that relationship instead of trying to hang onto it. God can truly heal our hurts and broken hearts! He makes all things new, we only have to allow him. Great post!!!

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  8. Oh, how wonderful it would've been for me to have seen this post a year or so ago! I was exactly what you describe....heart-broken to a point where you can't breathe.... It's awful. Just plain terrible. But now I look where I'm at in life & I'm getting married to the same man who once broke my heart before! Our God is a God of restoration & healing. He brings life out of death & joy out of sorrow. Thank you for this post, dearie. It brought back many memories (some hurtful) but oh so worth it!

    Much Love,
    Chelsea

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  9. I read this and all I could think was how I am so glad to read this. It makes it so much easier to realize that I am not the only one. God has shown me over and over again that it was His plan for me to be removed from a troubling relationship and be single for while. Some day, I will get married. There is so much to do while I wait. I love finding support from other ladies who are in the same place in their lives.

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sweet friends, share your heart.

"kind words are like honey...sweet..and healing.." -proverbs 16:24.

xo.

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