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Thursday, May 24, 2012

50 shades of.........confusion

{okay friends..this is a doozie. so before you sit down, go pour yourself a hot cuppa coffee & take a few minutes to read something very close to my heart here...please hear me out and read all of my thoughts on it so you fully understand what i am trying to communicate. also, go check out my sweet friend jessi's post on the same topic at her blog this camera tells my story}

    Driving along a stretch of California interstate the other day, I steered my car down the highway casually as I fiddled with the radio dial until I landed on my favorite country station. As Rascal Flatts crooned somethin' about a banjo, I looked down for just a second to pick up my Starbucks drink out of the console and started to take a sip when I noticed - something was wrong with the road. Suddenly I realized - the line in the middle of the two-way highway was gone. For a stretch of the road ahead of me, the painted middle lines were all worn away, leaving nothing but a wide road with no boundaries to keep the cars going North on one side and the cars going South on the other...to keep vehicles from crashing into each other. Thankfully, I carefully stayed on my side of the road, no oncoming cars passed me and soon the disappeared line showed up again in it's rightful place as I continued. But that little experience started me thinking about boundaries. Lines on a two lane highway are set in place not to annoy, frustrate, or suppress us - they are set to protect us. To communicate something, to guide and to guard. Having that experience caused me to realize how little I've thought of boundaries. Of things like medians, stop signs and those white, black and yellow lines painted on streets we drive every day. Imagine the chaos, craziness and sheer danger we'd all be in if they were not there.


   Thoughts about boundaries and their almost unseen importance laid heavy on my heart as the week progressed. And a couple days after my "lines on the road" experience, I heard about a certain trilogy of books that caused me to think about this subject....even more.

    The first time I heard about the book "50 Shades of Grey", I was absentmindedly watching Good Morning America on TV while working on other projects around the house. As an aspiring writer myself, my interest peaked when I heard the words, "...and the book has sold one copy every second, hitting the New York Times Bestseller List and selling 10 million copies so far with no signs of slowing down..." I stepped away from my work and stood in front of the TV screen, watching a middle-aged British woman answer questions about a book she wrote. On a whim, a lady named E.L. James penned and self-published her first novel...only to watch it explode in popularity in America. I watched in awe (not the good kind of awe, mind you) as she described the book as including "graphic sex scenes", "bondage" ...and something about "I have two teenage sons" (That's the head-scratcher that topped it all off. The first question racing through my mind was - why would you write a book like this if you have two young sons? What kind of model does that set for them as a woman, as their mother? But that's beside the point.) Based upon the skyrocketing popularity of this novel and the millions of women giving it rave reviews (including some Christian women I know), I want to share with you, my dear readers, my thoughts and heart on this topic and the reasons why I believe it is harmful, damaging and inappropriate reading material for anyone.

   I soon found out all about this "erotic novel" as it's being talked about on mainstream news channels and written about in widely read news articles. Reporter Savannah Guthrie of NBC described "50 Shades of Grey" as "...Explicit and extremely graphic" and said that "...parts of it are disturbing." The story's plot centers on a college-age virgin who is seduced by a handsome millionaire (who by the way, is described in the novel as an abuse victim and sex addict) who persuades her to sign a contract that allows him complete control over every aspect of her life - dictating when she can eat, sleep, groom herself, and work out - to taking complete dominance over her sexually as he systematically abuses her throughout the story. Much of the "50 Shades" trilogy includes very graphic sex scenes involving BDSM- "bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism." And yet, it is being portrayed in many circles in a rather cutesy, funny, "steamy", "romantic", "kinky", and light manner. The New York Times described it as "mommy porn". Yet I (who was trained up by my parents never to just take what the media throws at me, but to use my own mind - to discern things carefully and wisely) believe that the content of this novel needs to be viewed more carefully and honestly.
 
   Highly respected Dr. Drew Pinsky shared his perspective on the novel: "I can't emphasize enough the disturbing quality of this. This is a woman who is naive to these issues, and then is manipulated and exploited by a man who has a severe personality disorder and a sex addiction who is violent with her..." he also stated, "Why women would pick this up as any sort of substitute for intimacy or any sort of model for a relationship, I just find...disturbing."

 Clearly, this story does not depict a normal or healthy relationship. As I researched the book and heard respected individual's perspectives on it, I could not help but shake my head and wonder how so many intelligent people could fall into truly thinking these novels are harmless, or even "helpful" for a woman's love life. I fear American women are falling into not just "50 Shades of Grey"....but 50 shades of confusion.


 Let's be honest here -

  As  a smart, healthy woman..... I believe this novel is not harmless. It's not light. It's not cute. It is not just a little "kinky." It's anything but romantic. It's not just "entertainment". And it is not okay. I believe (and experts, doctors, psychologists - and the Bible - agree) it is very disturbing, very unnatural, and extremely disrespectful to women. In light of the truth that real women daily undergo the horrors of domestic violence and rape, I believe this type of literature should not be treated as simply "fantasy", meaningless, or just a light "racy" read. I question the women who support the book - why on earth are women who publicly defend the rights of women and children (such as advocating for exploited women in this world who undergo sex slavery, rape, and domestic violence) running out to buy and happily promoting through the media a book that clearly glamorizes not only disrespect but raw violence towards women? In several interviews I watched, "sex experts" were questioned about this very concern, to which several replied this sentiment: "Aw, it's just a fantasy!! It's totally harmless! Women who read these books just need an escape - they would never act this out in their real life!" To which I ask - so why are they spending precious moments of their life reading it? Why are they supporting the book monetarily by purchasing it? Why are they bringing this message into their homes, for little eyes to see - for curious children to possibly pick up and read disturbing and violent words that shape their minds and view of sexuality? As I initially watched that interview with the author on Good Morning America, I was stunned to see mothers with their young daughters standing outside the studio, clapping and screaming while holding signs that praised "50 Shades". Ladies, is this truly what we want to model for young, impressionable girls?

  Dr. Drew expressed deep concern regarding young women reading this book: "I worry about 15-year-olds and 19-year-olds who are reading this and formulating a notion that this is anything close to a reasonable relationship. I worry that this is going to be a model for something pathological." This is not only destructive to women readers and their minds, hearts and relationships - but also to young people reading. And even if you disagree with the points I'm shedding light on, you surely will not disagree that this book is a dangerous thing to allow into the reach of impressionable young people. It concerns me for our children's future and the future of this culture.


    As a Christian woman, I believe the content of the "50 Shades of Grey" trilogy stands in stark contrast to the pure life God calls believers to in Scripture:






"Do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure."
-1 Timothy 5:22 

"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality,
or any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."
-Ephesians 5:3

"It is God's will that you should be sanctified; that you should avoid sexual immorality;
that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable,
not in passionate lust like those who do not know God...
The Lord will punish people for all such sins, as we have already told and warned you.
For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life."
-1 Thessalonians 4:3-7

  And I get it. Words like "lust", "sin", "righteousness", and "purity" are not all that popular in the time we are currently living in. They're sure as heck not popularly used in my generation's vernacular. And if you search for them on Urban Dictionary or any stylish lifestyle website, magazine, or blog - you won't find them. But I don't care. Haters can hate, but I'm not ashamed of being a 20-something young woman who is saving sex for marriage, who confidently trusts my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and strives to follow what He says in the Bible as the best way for me to live my life.  

  This is my call to all of you - are we gonna go with the flow of our culture's whims? Or will we be smart and wise, stand strong, being true to what is right and graciously yet firmly saying "no" to what is wrong. I, for one, want to be cherished in a relationship with a man. To be honored, cared for, treated with tenderness, gentleness and dignity. And....respect. I choose to be a strong woman of integrity.

   I choose to say yes to God's way, knowing His way is best - He created me, He loves me, and if I believe in Jesus, if I say I'm a Christian - then I understand the Bible is not a cafeteria plan that I can pick and choose from. If I believe I am saved, forgiven, and loved by God - if I firmly believe that when I die, I will go to Heaven because I'm a daughter of the King, then I just as surely must believe that ALL He says in the Bible is true - that lust is wrong, damaging, and harmful to me. That sexual sin is a fire not meant to be played with - a fire that would burn me beyond repair. The Bible says that lust (which is exactly what the material in "50 Shades" flares up) is serious and it's a big deal.

"For lust is a shameful sin, a crime that should be punished.
 It is a devastating fire that destroys to hell. It would wipe out everything I own."
-Job 31:11-12

"Run from the evil desires of youth
and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace
along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."
-2 Timothy 2:22


    We can't have it both ways, friends. Yes, we all make mistakes. And the tone and heart of this post is not to condemn or judge those who read "50 Shades" or anyone who struggles with lust and sexual sin. Thankfully, mercy, grace, forgiveness and love are waiting in God's arms when we mess up. But we have to choose - will we be strong? Will we choose the harder road? Will we fight lust? Will we fight sin? Will we embrace integrity and lives of purity? Will be make wise choices to protect the purity of our marriages and our children? Embracing the boundaries placed around precious gifts like sex - knowing that if we ignore those boundaries we can be hurt.

  
   Boundaries are important in life. Yet, I see our culture quickly taking a nosedive into boundary-less territory more and more. Anything goes. It truly breaks my heart to see that the black and white, the right and wrong of how to live is slowly fading into shades of grey. The "lines", the boundaries on our culture's "road" are fading quickly. And I fear that, just as a lack of boundaries on our freeways and highways cause deadly mayhem and terror on the road, a lack of boundaries and a forgetting of what is right and what is wrong is going to cause serious "crashes" in our lives. God sets boundaries to protect us. I fear that if we just follow along with the activities this world offers without seriously considering consequences - we will plummet off the side of the "road without lines" just as I could have driving in my car the other day.

     Don't get confused. Don't let the Enemy rip you off. Whether you are single or married, a teenager or a mama - I plead with you,  do not let this filth and garbage into your mind or home. This is your life, this is your body, this is your mind, this is your relationship, this is your purity, this is your marriage. Be a woman of honor and stand up and be strong for God.

 My prayer is that my words - these rambling thoughts from the aching heart of one sister crying out to another - may cause you to think. To re-evaluate. To be encouraged. To be strong. And to stand up and fight for what is right.

 It's not easy.
In fact, I am asking you to do something really hard.
Ask any athlete training their body to be strong and they will tell you:
nothing worth having comes easy.
But it is so worth it in the end.

This is the road less traveled. 
And it's the road that leads to a sweeter, more satisfied life.
And ya know what? That's a promise.

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."
-Matthew 5:8




Don't let the boundaries guarding sacred things become blurred,
don't let your "lines" wear away.
 And don't let the black and white of what you know is right, deep down in your heart.... slowly turn to confusing shades of grey.


Stay strong, my loves!
Not only is God on our side, but thousands of others are linking arms with us as well.

XO

Erin


****

Having God's words engraved on your heart is the key to a life of purity.
In His words there is power!
{I'd like to share some Scriptures to help you think through the issue of sexual purity
and to encourage you to stay strong in this war against lust}


Lie: A little sinful fantasizing won't hurt.

Truth:
"To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind of the Spirit is life and peace."
-Romans 8:6,

"Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life."
-Galatians 6:7-8

"But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires."
-Romans 13:14

Lie: Taking radical action against sin isn't necessary.

Truth:
"If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."
-Matthew 5:29-30

Lie: God won't mind a little compromise.

Truth:
"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
Because of these, the wrath of God is coming."
-Colossians 3:5-6

Lie: A little pornography won't effect me.

Truth:
"Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.
Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?"
-Proverbs 6:25-27

Lie: I won't experience any consequences for indulging in my lust.

Truth:
"So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God."
-Romans 14:12

"The Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
-Hebrews 12:6

"After desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."
-James 1:15

Lie: It's my body, I can do what I want with it.

Truth:
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body,
but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you now know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
-1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Lie: Too much purity will keep me from seeing and enjoying beauty.

Truth:

"Your eyes will behold the King in His beauty, and they will see a land that stretches afar."
-Isaiah 33:17

Lie: God is keeping something good from me.

Truth:

"Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a door-keeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in You."
-Psalm 84:10-12

Lie: Fulfilling my lust will satisfy me.

Truth:

"The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied."
-Proverbs 19:23



*inspired by "Not Even A Hint", a book written by Joshua Harris. I highly recommend it if you struggle with lust and desire to live a life of purity.

75 comments:

  1. Ahh my friend! I am SO proud of you for writing this post. I had heard of the books as well, although not much. I had heard just enough to know I didn't want to read them. Although our generation certainly seems to take the matter of sex and intimacy very lightly, and often makes fun of those who think differently, it doesn't mean that it is RIGHT or that it is GOOD. I have been blessed more than I can say by being a little bit different. I am so blessed to know there are others out there with the same values. And my friend, you are my kindred spirit and I value so much the friendship we share. Hugs and email coming soon! Update me too! :)hugs and prayers

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  2. Erin, this is seriously the best post I've read about it so far (no offense to other posts I also loved). I'm so proud of you or being bold in your faith.

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  3. Really appreciate your words on this subject as well as your friend's! I have heard of this book but figured it was inappropriate. Something that comes to my mind is if the world is so excited about whatever-it-is, it most likely, probably definitely doesn't match up the standards that the Lord has for us. We must constantly filter what we are allowing ourselves to read, watch, think and do. Makes me think of the song, "Oh be careful little eyes what you see..." It's not always easy because like you said we allow lies to come into our thinking and we rationalize but with God, "all things are possible."
    Thanks again! :)

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  4. I'm so glad you chose to tackle this issue, Erin. Thank you for so clearly explaining why boundaries are important and supporting everything you said with scripture. I really like your lie/truth segment at the end!

    I know that personally, sexually explicit material causes lust in my heart. I've even had to put away Nicholas Sparks books because of some of the content. Our minds are our greatest sexual organ, and the way that we associate sex/love/pleasure creates actual physical pathways in our brains- real ruts and ways of thinking. It's not an objective or purely emotional reaction- it has a physical effect! And of course God knows this- He created us that way! And so I have to take His Word seriously when it says to put impurity to death.

    blessings to you, friend!

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  5. Thank you for sharing!!!! I didnt understand what the book was and now I KNOW I won't be reading it!! Blessings!!!

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  6. I always want to shout "amen" to your posts, but this one I especially agree with! With the amount of girls involved in sex slavery, self-esteem issues and more, it amazes me that women are looking to this kind of trash as entertainment. Personally, I would never choose to fill my mind with this sort of stuff, and am rather appalled at it's success. As women of faith, it's our job to expose the lies and this should be a big wake-up call for us to remember that the Enemy is out there trying to cause people to be swayed, and he'll use whatever means he can to do it. Needless to say, I will not be reading 50 shades of Grey either.

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  7. So good! And totally worth the wait. I think it's so awesome how 3 of us wrote about it in one week. And I know God is using you to stir women to pursue purity even further!! And convict those who have not been doing so. I'm so proud to call you a friend and a sister in Christ. I love your sweet heart and passion on this subject. And that last part with the lies and the truth, brilliant!!

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  8. Erin! GOD BLESS YOU! I am beyond impressed with this post. It is well written, and you obviously spent a lot of time formulating your words so that you could accurately articulate what you (and the SPIRIT) wanted to say. I have wanted to write a post like this myself, but I have not done the research that you have. I LOVE that you incorporated "experts" as well as sound Biblical truth. Way to go you! I pray many will read this and that God will stir their hearts to the truth!

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  9. AMEN!!!!! I am so glad I'm not the only one NOT raving about this book. Thank you for standing up for what is right!

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  10. AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN!!!! YOU ERIN... ARE MY ROLE MODEL!!! You inspire me & everyone else!!! this post is sooooo good. and you look gorg. <3

    xx.

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  11. WOW! amen amen amen! ahhhhh
    i love the last part with all those lies that are refuted by the TRUTH! the truth that sets free.
    erin, i wish we could actually sit down and have a conversation about this.
    thanks for being SO bold about this. i'm disturbed about this book. i remember seeing the cover for it briefly but did not bother to look too deep into it.

    what people don't understand is when you say, "its just a fantasy.. let them go there" why are they even escaping to a fantasy! thats an issue on its own.

    I'm creating a seminar on purity/relationships and this was really helpful!! Thank you Erin for your boldness and confidence.

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  12. great job Erin. My sister had bought this book not at all realizing what it was. I just texted her and told her what it was about. She thanked me (she hadn't started reading it) and is going to pass on it. Way to take a stand against what our culture pushes on us.

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  13. Thank you for this post! I totally agree with you and I'm glad Christian writers are taking a stand against this troubling book. It's sad to see how it has become increasingly acceptable. I heard about it a few months ago on the news as a book women were "whispering" about--now it's gone totally viral, with women, as you mentioned, holding up signs and cheering the author (who even published the book under her initials rather than her full name to originally keep some measure of anonymity). Really sad:( Believers should definitely avoid this and not slip into the mindset that it is in any way OK. This doesn't honor the Lord at all.

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  14. agreed!! I started hearing so much about the book - radio, news, pinterest, facebook, etc. and looked up what it was and am so surprised and sad that it is such a popular book, as well as all the talk about it becoming a movie. I am pretty sick of hearing about how great it is! Thanks for the honest post - you are a wise woman!

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  15. Very well written Erin! Everything I have heard about this book made me definitely not want to read it. After reading this I see that was a good decision. I love your analogy of the lines on the road. Our culture could use more boundaries for sure. Thank you for sharing your heart!

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  16. I agree completely with you Erin!! Even if someone is not a Christian and/or trying to live a pure life, this book is definitely not giving women a good picture of relationships in general. The abuse is ridiculous. What I find even more disturbing is that the character is a college-aged women. Does this author not know how easily and often young women are getting into & staying in emotionally & physically abusive relationships? That is not the message that today's young women need to be getting. There is too much work being done to clean up the aftermath as it is already. Thank you for posting this!!
    XO

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  17. so blessed to call you a friend! this is SO AMAZING! thank you for taking such a stand against our culture. it's so scary out there, but you my friend are shining such a light. i'm so proud of you!
    this is such a hard topic to write about and i'm so glad you did. taking a big step to stand up for what you believe in is really hard now a days because if you don't go along with what society thinks is right, then you're looked at like you're being judgmental. but the bible is so clear on issues such as this.
    thank you so much for having the courage to share your heart. love you!!

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  18. Wow I couldn't agree more! That was incredibly well written, if only more people in this world still had values like that. I find it so sad, and actually a bit scary, what is permissible these days, all because "we are in the 21st century and times are changing." What used to be good and righteous is now looked down upon and considered naive and narrow minded. I hate it! I've heard so much about this book but never really knew exactly what it was about. Now that I know it makes me sick!

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  19. just came across your blog..I LOVE it :):):):) please come check mine out some time :D

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  20. you are wise beyond your years.

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  21. love this. I feel the same way! Thank you

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  22. Your boldness and faith is shining bright in this post. I love it! You've got a gift from God by communicating Truth to others! Maybe you should write a book or devotional of some sort, one day?? :) just a thought!
    Thanks for this, my sweet friend. I plan to pass it on :)
    XO

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  23. Hey Erin! This is an amazing post! You have such a way with words. It's truly a gift from the Lord! I have seen a few bloggers tweeting about reading this book, and I had no idea what is was about. The fact that our society & media would elevate this type of material to such a high place is truly sad. I can't really put into words my thoughts on this, but I just feel so disgusted and heart broken at the same time when I see the current state of our society and culture. You really hit the nail on the head here, and I hope more women will read this post and share it with others.

    All I can say is Amen and God bless you Erin! I will be sharing this post on my blog tomorrow!!

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  24. I'm REALLY REALLY thankful that you posted this! I have heard the "50 Shades" series talked about on blog after blog and was so interested in reading it - it was on my "to read" list!

    I wasn't aware what it was about until I posted a FB status about it and someone (rudely) enlightened me...I'm glad that I hadn't started it yet and now before I check something out because it's popular, I need to do some research.

    Thank you for being so bold, Erin :)
    I always appreciate your posts!
    xo

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  25. You go girl! That book has been on my heart as well as I've seen so many people read it. I love your heart for purity, Jesus and people. Such a blessing yet again friend !

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  26. Thank you for givin me the biblical back up for my decision not to read these books!!

    Meg

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  27. Great post! You brought to light very important issues and verses of scripture that we need to remember. You are right, boundaries are hard for some people. But without good, healthy boundaries, we float around with no sense of value. Good for you for posting this!

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  28. Beautiful! It is a very tough society we live in, especially for young and single women. Our media sends out the message EVERYDAY that lust and pornography is ok. I'm so glad that there are still young women like you out there to stand up for what is right. My husband and I are very vocal about our choices to abstain from lust and pornography of ANY kind, and we have people attacking us all of the time about our decisions, my husband especially. But, our marriage is beautiful. We both know that we are both making extended efforts to protect our eyes, ears and hearts from the sin that can rock the foundation of marriage. I truly believe that a pure heart enjoys and appreciates relationships and intimacy to a level that many are desensitized to. Sex addiction is such a big trouble for so many people that really needs to be brought to light more. I hope that my daughter is as wise as you and has the same strong unshakeable love for Christ that you display.

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  29. Thank you Erin. The truth of the gospel shone through in this post and I was blessed. Praying for you and all who are reading this.
    Alesha <3

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  30. I like your doozies... and I poured myself a cuppa coffee first :) I thoroughly enjoyed reading your heart on this matter and completely agree with you here. I hate how our culture is ruining such a precious gift that God has given us.

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  31. What is our world coming to??? Thank you for bringing this evil book to my attention so that I can stay away from it. I whole-heartedly proclaim an "AMEN!" to this post.

    You are precious, Erin.

    xo
    purposelyathome.blogspot.com

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  32. I have not heard of this book, I'm not sure whether that's because it's not so popular in England or because somehow I've missed it. But it scares me that such damaging relationships are glamorised through novels and literature. As the sister of a girl in an abuse relationship (emotionally, physically and sexually) I am appalled that such an unhealthy relationship is being broadcast as normal and possible to young people. Having to support my sister, I know how horrible it is to see your loved ones be treated like dirt, to have them feel worthless and unloved, to have them think that it is all right to be forced to have sex and all right to be manipulated into feeling that it is all they deserve. Why oh why would any woman want their children to glimpse even a bit of that life? Why would they want to run the risk of poisoning their children's mind? Why can't they see how awful and damaging it is? A bit "kinky" and "light hearted"?! I have seen my sisters life destroyed and I don't know how anyone can publish or read this series. Thank you so much for being real and true.

    Sorry for the long post, but as you can imagine I have some very strong feelings on this subject.

    Say xx

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  33. Praise God for you Erin!! Thanks for sharing this thought provoking and awesome post about this!!! I did some research about this book too wondering what it was all about me being a book worm and all:)) and then it was actually promoted on the Dr.Oz show as a great thing for women to feel confident about there sexuality..YIKES!! Really so sad, it broke my heart because of what our culture has taught our young women and what grown women are believing about intimacy and freedom in it is so off . Praying that something finally hits the fan with this book so the sales go down and women see the light!!- love you girl!!

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  34. Wow! Love this post...love your conviction..love your honesty and love your heart! Thank you for being obedient!! Your gift of writing will help others receive this message with an easy heart:) What I love most is that you biblically back up your own "opinions"..AMEN!

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  35. Omg I can't even describe how thrilled I am to have read this!! Watch out for a video response to this because all you spoke was truth and every one needs to be more aware of this!! Amazing!

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  36. Completely agree with you Erin. Well said! :)

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  37. Erin, I am a relatively new reader and I am SO SO glad I stumbled on this post!! You are not alone in your feelings of wanting purity and righteousness. I feel that God has led me in this way and I am so glad to have found others like you who feel the same.....kudos for voicing your thoughts on this disturbing book and being a leader for the Lord!!!

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  38. So, so, so happy you wrote this! Girls need to hear this! I've been so sick of reading about this book and how much people love it. Especially Christian women. Once you open your mind to these sorts of things you become desensitized and you're giving the devil a foothold. And that is SO dangerous! So happy there are girls like you out there!

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  39. I love your blog Erin and this post. So glad to see someone speak out boldly and take a stand! =)

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  40. Amen amen aMEN! I don't have cable and I barely have heard anything about this book, but I HAVE seen it all over the blog world, so thank you thank you for opening my eyes and mind and showing me what it's about! How DANGEROUS and scary this is. It just shows how huge of a hold Satan has on our country. Wowza. Thank you, Erin!!!

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  41. AMAZING post! I haven't heard of these books yet, for which I thank God, but my heart breaks for those who've indulged and enjoyed in them.... my heart breaks for those minds and hearts!!! Praying for those people!

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  42. AMAZING post! I haven't heard of these books yet, for which I thank God, but my heart breaks for those who've indulged and enjoyed in them.... my heart breaks for those minds and hearts!!! Praying for those people!

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  43. I am SO PROUD of the way you're standing up to truth. You go, girl!

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  44. Honestly, I am ammmmmazed by you! I really cannot even begin to explain how God worked through this post to the core of my heart. Haven't really ever considered reading the book. But beyond that I was so encouraged! Loving you sweet girl! Praising God for you!

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  45. you nailed it here girl... love this post... so glad there are women willing to go against the flow of society and be who God created them to be... =) love you..

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  46. I have so many things that I want to say but I'll leave it at this: I couldn't agree more.
    This was perfect.
    Amen, sister.
    Thank you for this.
    xoxo,
    Sierra

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  47. Wow. Such a great post. Keep on spreading God's Truth Erin. xxO

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  48. This made me cry! I don't think anything hurts my heart more than to see people fall for these things... it hurts me because I've been in a bad, disrespectful relationship and for the life of me I do not understand why people would support such a thing! I definitely think God wants us to keep these things far far away from ourselves because they cause so much more harm than we can even know! It worries me...mom's allowing their children to read such things... or that they write such things because they have two teenage boys...way to encourage bad morals, bad behavior, way to cause their hearts to be messed up! I have a little boy and I will protect him as much as I can... I want him to know how he is to treat women and that sex, as good as it is, it is for marriage... it is not to be used to be harmful! I'm also having a girl in August and things like this really scare me... I could weep at the thought of my little girl experiencing things that you mentioned were written in the books. We need to protect our hearts from these things, but we also need to protect our children from these things! How can we if we read this crap? Thanks for sharing your heart!

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  49. I am not jumping on the bandwagon. Why because I don't like rules and second because it honestly doesn't appeal to me at this time. Although a possible good read, I am a rebel. You are a rebel. It doesn't mean we are bad it just means we choose to live the way we see fit. I'll take that anyday over being a follower in this game of life. Hugs Erin! Your beautiful and wise.

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  50. WOW Erin- I think every comment above me expresses hoe I feel. Perfectly written post!
    xo

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  51. Erin, thank you for sharing your heart and the light of Gods truth that abides within you. As a mother of three daughters I have prayed for their purity and often placed boundaries in their lives as they were growing up that they now so appreciate as grown women. Now I have two granddaughters and my heart shudders at the state of compromise that has become "normal" for many Christian families. Thank you taking a stand for Gods truth!

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  52. what an amazing post. i agree with you wholeheartedly! thank you for openly posting this!! i found your blog through the speed date link up with nicole :) hoping to get to know you even more!

    - jennifer.
    one43.

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  54. this is a wonderfully insightful post. your words are very encouraging and i love the scripture you've included. thank you for sharing your thoughts!

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  55. It breaks my heart to see how sly the enemy is, trying to slime his way into this world and our minds and our hearts. But it makes my heart smile to see such a strong linking of arms. May we all also stand firm in our hearts in the not so popular battles, the tiny decisions we make at home. Our music, certain tv shows. God doesn't just one his way with one thing, he wants our all, all across the board. Love you ladies and thanks a million Erin. Let's start a revolution against the ways of this culture! Fighting lies with TRUTH!

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  56. Loved this insight!!! I saw that Dannah Gresh blogged about this one and I want to thank you for posting this.

    :)

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  57. Preach it beautiful girl! Satan would absolutely love for us to listen to his lies--to brush aside God's will & get lost in a terrible book.
    My commitment to purity before I was married was one of the best decisions I made in my life (along with accepting Christ as my Savior, of course) & staying away from that reading garbage is something else that I stand firm in!
    xoxoxo,
    Leigh

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  58. Awesome post. And so well said. Thank you SO SO much for sharing this truth and challenge to stand up for what's right and pure and holy! I was a philosophy/religion major in college, and had to do an in depth research project on BDSM (yeah, that was definitely covered in much prayer as I ended up giving a 20 minute presentation on it from a Christian perspective in a very secular environment), but that research was nothing short of terrifying! No joke, scary stuff! I, too, got curious about these books...I kept hearing about them, but had no idea what they were about. Just based on a short description that mentioned the BDSM content, I was horrified at the subject matter and that it was selling so well as entertainment and "fantasy". Purity and holiness are so important (and Biblical!), and this sort of unhealthy (mentally, physically, psychologically, and especially spiritually) content should never be sold as fantasy. Again, thank you so much for your stand for truth here!

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  59. I had ill feelings when I first heard what 50 Shades was about...but I couldn't put it into words. So happy to have read this and see I am not the only one feeling this way about the book. And see a lot of what I was feeling put into words. Thankful you wrote this and I happened to come across it!

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  60. Thank you for sharing and for making a good, biblical argument.

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  61. Found you over at Top of the Page...this is the most well-written posts I have read in a very long time. Well done. So glad to have found you :)

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  62. THANK YOU FOR THIS POST!

    I bought this big as an avid reader and having heard about it over and over again, and could not BELIEVE not only the explicitness but the concepts being promoted. I also couldn't believe how many girls my age (early-mid 20's) were fawning over this book and shamelessly promoting it. It promotes so much unhealthy thoughts that will affect your marriage, whether you're currently married or it's still in your future.

    As the mother of a young daughter and in a wonderfully loving relationship, I cannot imagine a mother or wife thinking that this is ok to promote to the next generation. With so much sex trade and slavery in the world, this book is NOT OK.

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  63. This is so incredibly well written. Thank you for your wisdom. xoxo

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  64. Thank you for writing this! I have been hearing a lot about this book but I really didn't know what it was about. One of the women I follow on Instagram started reading and simply said it was like "a sexed-out Twilight" ...so I opted to stay away.

    I've just discovered your blog today (after you liked a few of my Instagram pics) and I'm glad I did. I plan on being a frequent reader. Check mine out when you have a chance! I have promised God that I will become more consistent with since I've been slacking the past few months.

    God bless

    Ashley <3

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  65. I just want to say that I adore you so much. You do not give way to the opinions of the world, or try to agree with the world so as to not offend others. Your mind is purely set on God, His opinions are yours, and yet you are so sweet and gentle.
    I always get frustrated with Christians when they take on the thoughts and opinions of the world instead of agreeing with the Bible. They always say that they have to develop their opinions and find out how they feel about things. I always say, what is there to find out? God has already told us His opinion in the Bible, and His opinion is my opinion. Then they always try to discourage me from being that way, but I never even think about considering it. So it's just really nice to meet someone who feels the way that I do. You're such an inspiration. God bless you. <3

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  66. Erin - I was just browsing your old posts and ran across this. I agree 100% and am so glad a woman of God like YOU posted something so powerful. The Scripture you back it up with is incredible. This post reminds me why I follow you... You are SO wise beyond your years. I look up to you in SO many ways... I can't even count. So much love, friend! So much!

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  67. Wow!!! Such great words on this topic!! I personally vowed not to read it nor did I ever have a desire to. I know several people who have read it though and when asked why I don't want/need to read it I wish I would have had this post and all its points to back me up! Now I do! Thank you for taking the time and research on this!

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  68. I don't really have anything to say that I absolutely LOVE you for this. Many of my friends have tormented themselves with this book, even if they know it's absolutely horrible. When I heard and read about it, I was absolutely disgusted!!! It's just totally gross ><You're so awesome, Erin. Another role model to my list!! :) i'm looking up to you!!! <3

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  69. This was a great post. I was asked to review a book about this book, so I'm collecting some info, and this was really helpful :)

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  70. Thank you for every bit of this post, and your courage to write it for the world to see. It scares me, especially for our younger generations. If this is normal now, what future do our children have?

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  71. هل لديك ألكثير من العمل والقليل من الوقت؟ وأيضاً تريد منزلاً نظيفاً ، كيف يمكنك الحصول علي هذا؟
    ألجواب هوا : إستأجار شركه تنظيف محترفه لتقم بهذا العمل عنك وتخافظ علي منزلك نظيفاً ولكن يجب عليك أن تكون حريص في إختيار ألشركة ألمناسبه ، إذا كنت انت من يقوم بالأعمال المنزليه والتنظيف دائماً ،أو هذه أول تجربه لك فى تعيين شركه لتنظيف منزلك ،إذاً إسأل اصدقائك ومعارفك الذين قاموا بإستخدام تلك الشركات والخدمات من قبل لتنظيف منازلهم ، أسال عن الشركة التي يفضلونها ، ألأسعار المتوقعه، ألمواد المستخدمه فى عمليه التنظيف ، وإلمده الزمنيه التي يأتي بها العمال الذين تعينهم الشركه لتنظيف منزلك. شركة تنظيف منازل بالرياض


    التواصل ع الشركة عبر الهاتف هوا أول خطوه تمكنك من معرفه إجابات لكل الأسئله ألتي تدور فى عقلك مثل:منذ متي والشركة تعمل في مجال التنظيف،هل الشركه مرخصه ولديها تصاريح، هل الشركه تؤمن وتتحمل مسؤليه الخسائر وألأضرار التي يمكن لها أن تحدث أثناء ألقيا بعمليه التنظيف فى منزلك لأن الأخطاء ممكنه الحدوث ولذلك عليك إختيار شركه تتحمل عنك هذه المسؤليه، المهم هوا أن تسأل كل ألأسئله التي تدور فى زهنك للوصول الي قرار بشأن حتياجاتك. كما ذكرنا مسبقاً أن أهم شئ في الشركات التي تعمل فى هذا المجال هوا التأمين وإذا كانت الشركه لا تأمن فعليك البحث والحصول على شركه أخري توفر لك هذه الخدمه وهي(التأمين) لانه وبكل بساطه أثناء العمل علي تنظيف منزل وإنكسر شئ أو تدمرت قطعه من الاثاث لن تعوض في حاله أن الشركة لا تؤمن أما فى حاله ألتأمين تعوض بالكامل عن كل الخسائر والتلفيات التي تحدث أثناء العمليه. شركة تنظيف بيوت بالرياض

    في حاله التواصل مع مدير الشركه هناك عده أمور يجب وضعها محل إعتبار مثل: إذا كان يتم فحص الموظفين؟،هل الشركه مؤمنه أو مرخصه؟،وأن تعرف أن الموظفين المكلفين بتنظيف منزلك خضعوا لفحص جنائي قبل دخول منزلك.
    لانه وفي حاله فقدان أي شئ من المنزل سيتم تعويضك عنه بالكامل من قبل الشركة. بعض الشركات التي تعمل فى مجال تنظيف المنازل لا تقوم بتوظيف وتعيين عاملين لها بل تستعين بطرف ثالث وهوا مثل المقاولين والأفراد للعمل فى تنظيف الملابس، وبالتأكيد تريد التأكد من هويه كل شخص قبل دخول منزلك.

    قبل تعيين شركه لتقوم بتنظيف منزلك لابد لك وأن تعرف مساحه منزلك،وخدمات الشركة المختلفه لتتمكن من إختيار الخدمه التي تتوافر مع إحتياجات منزلك وبأسعار مناسبه فى نفس الوقت، يجب أيضاً معرفه ما هي خطوات تنظيف المنزل خطوة خطوة، هذا لان بعض الشركات توفر خدمه تنظيف الزجاج والنزافذ وبعض الشركات لا تقوم بهذا الجزء،بعض الشركات تكافح الفئران وأخرى لا،أما إذا كان لديك مهمه محدده فى ذهنك فعليك مناقشتها مع ممثل خدمه العملاء أو المدير في حاله التواصل مع الشركه، وماهي الاشياء التي ستتطلب تحريك أو نقل الاثاث.

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sweet friends, share your heart.

"kind words are like honey...sweet..and healing.." -proverbs 16:24.

xo.

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