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Monday, February 4, 2013

Honoring My Future Husband

I met her at Influence Conference  last year. As I picked up a tall glass of Italian soda and took a sip out of the stripey gray and white straw, she introduced herself and hugged me. My sweet friend Jac was just as lovely in person as on her blog and she has a passion and heart for honoring her husband and encouraging other women to do the same. We chatted at the conference's Stripes Party about the beauty of faithfulness in romance. She is hosting a year-long series called Godly Wife and I'm thankful to be sharing my thoughts and heart on the topic of honoring your husband today. 

No, I didn't get married without telling y'all. (Believe me, when that happens, you'll know! ;) I am sharing a different perspective on honoring your husband... because I don't just want to honor and love my husband when we are married - I want to honor him even before I meet him

You don't magically become a faithful wife when you slip on a white dress, walk down the aisle, and look down at a sparkling diamond ring on your finger. Honoring your spouse takes work. No one is perfect and no one will ever be the perfect wife. And I am certainly no expert as I've not yet married! But I believe that if you're a woman who is single and desires to be married someday, you have the opportunity to begin cultivating a heart of faithfulness for your future husband and practicing putting him first and loving him.

Faithfulness and honor are precious things - treasures in relationships that are beautiful and sadly, very unappreciated in our society. And I want to encourage you to commit to honoring your future husband - starting today! 

At age 13, I gave my love story to God and asked Him to bring "my man" into my life in His time. And I committed to wait for and pray for my future husband, whoever he may be. 

I am still waiting today. And I'm not perfect - none of us are, married or single. But there are 3 ways I strive to honor my future husband even before I've met him. I hope you are encouraged and inspired by these in your own journey: 

1 // Considering him every day in my interactions with guys. Imagine there's a guy out there who will be the love of your life and make your heart skip a beat every time he smiles at you. Now imagine this beautiful man you love can see you every day. Would he feel cherished, honored, and respected by you in your interactions with other guys? No one is perfect and we will never perfectly love or honor our future husbands. But striving to honor them is so precious and important. Being careful about the things you watch, listen to, read, and wear are a struggle in this society but I daily ask God for help as I try to honor Him and my future man. This also applies to dating relationships. I'm single right now, but when I go out on a date with a guy or have a boyfriend, I try to keep my future husband on my heart - dating a guy does not mean he belongs to me; I try to remember that until I am married, the guy I'm dating may belong to someone else. This is not easy, but in the long run, I believe our future husbands will be blessed to know we thought of and considered them before we met them. Ask yourself, "Would I want my husband doing this/acting this way/doing this physical act with another girl?" Puts it into perspective for me. I desire to be a one-man woman - not just when I'm married, but before

Leslie Ludy wrote, "One of the greatest ways we can love our future husbands with unconditional, self-sacrificing love is by carefully protecting that precious gift we possess - our inward and outward purity. Purity is more than just avoiding 'the forbidden line' of giving away our virginity. As women, we can pour ourselves into developing inward excellence - becoming a beautiful, whole, undefiled treasure from the inside out. We will have much more to offer our future husbands if we do. It doesn't mean we will always be perfect, but it does mean that we will be headed in the right direction... on a path not of compromise, but of radiant and joyful purity in its truest form." (from "When God Writes Your Love Story" 

2 //  Praying for him. Praying for your future husband can be one of the most powerful, beautiful things you can do to honor him. Just think - if God plans for you to be married someday, then the man who will be your husband is out there somewhere in the world, and God knows who He is already! (Jer. 29:11) I pray daily for my future husband - for his heart, his purity, his everyday life, for protection in every way - anything God puts on my heart! In seasons of loneliness, this is a wonderful way to remind myself of my commitment and the bigger picture - that I am not just "white knuckling" it as I save myself for marriage but I truly believe it makes for a beautiful love story, and is God's best plan for our lives. 

One of my favorite songs ever reminds me of how beautiful waiting, purity, and honoring our future husbands is. It's not always easy, but it will be SO worth the wait! 

3 // Preparing myself for marriage someday. Some people start preparing for marriage at engagement, but I think we can actually begin well before we say "I do"! Perhaps I am not picking out china patterns yet but I can prepare in other ways. I recommend reading books on marriage (books that are appropriate for a single person to read) when you are within a few years of marriageable age. Through relationships with friends and family you can work on areas of the heart such as selfishness, being gracious, forgiveness, and dealing with conflict. And even in practical areas like learning how to cook tasty, healthy meals! 

We can also prepare ourselves for marriage by working on our hearts. Singleness is a wonderful time to focus on God and on personal growth! It's easy to think, "I want a man who is godly, mature, sweet, kind, wonderful, wise, etc. etc. etc." But instead of focusing on what you are looking for in a man, use the time to grow yourself! What would a man with the character qualities you desire in him want in a wife? Make those your goal. 

My sweet reader, my prayer is that you are inspired by this post - to give your love life to the Lord, and to honor your husband - whether you are single or married! 

  And if you're a married lady, visit the link below and read the perspective of women who are married as they strive to honor their husbands. 

**Photo above/credit: photographer Rachel White**


  1. I love this, friend. This is something God is really work on in me at the moment, and I love that it is a practical way to prepare for marriage now! To learn the habits of Godly lifestyle, healthy living and wise relationships while I'm single is only going to be a benefit to us (well, when me because us someday!) xo

  2. This is simply wonderful my friend! Such great tips here. I've really been meaning to be more purposeful in praying for my future husband and working on making myself into a Godly woman in preparing for marriage. Although Matt and I may not get married for a few years (or at all, but hopefully not!), I want him to see in me now that I am striving to be the best I can be for him and our relationship!

    Thanks so much for the encouragement and reminder :) Love ya girl!

  3. Friend, these things are so can't marry well unless you are already married to Jesus well. The purity of your heart, soul and body is a beautiful gift to be able to give a man one day. This is such a wonderful reminder for Christian women!

  4. Girl! This single lady needed to hear this, this morning! Absolutely LOVE it!

    I'm hoping my someone special will hurry up and get in my life! :)

  5. I was thinking on these things yesterday. I often think about what I wish to tell a daughter if I ever have one about preparing for your husband. I'm so thankful I was raised in an environment that taught me those things and kept me from so much, but even so, there are pieces of myself I let others think they owned for a time. I wish I had thought about that statement you made about your boyfriend not being yours. It's true. Until you are married, they may belong to someone else. And that will be the case every time except for one! What a great prospective to guard your heart. Love you sister!

  6. number 1, 2, and 3...are my favorites. so important. it's amazing how i was really able to ease some of the things i was feeling when i was single, when i began pray for my future husband. great words!

  7. Great post! Thank you!

  8. As always, you seem to hit the nail on the head when offering words of wisdom. It's so nice to get these reminders from someone else who isn't married just yet and is still waiting for God's plan to unfold for them. I have to remember to keep these things in mind, especially as Valentine's Day gets close!

  9. I love this Erin, it is so important to be reminded of these truths. They carry much weight with me today!

  10. Always need to remember to consider him in my everyday interactions now. Thanks, Erin! Happy Monday!

  11. Such wonderful encouragement, friend!! As a fellow single lady, these are all things that I am trying to work on to prepare myself for marriage. So thankful for the fellowship with other single ladies for Christ, like you! :)

  12. So lovely to find other like-minds through other beauteous blogs such as this one...I strive to do all 3 points you made, as THE most cherished dream of my heart is to be a wife & mother someday. <3
    Thank you for sharing! <3

  13. What wonderful words of encouragement! I am so grateful for finding this blog of yours. It has done wonders to my relationship with Christ and my confidence in waiting and practicing trust + patience.

    And I'm definitely going to start praying for my future husband. I've never really thought much about doing that since I don't "know" him, but prayer is something everyone needs no matter what!

  14. amen. amen. amen. i totally agree with you, erin. you have shared some wonderful words that i wish every young women could hear.


  15. Speaking as a newly married woman (8 1/2 months), all I can say is Amen! When I was 13 I started praying for my husband in a general sense. I also started praying that God would prepare me to be the kind of wife he needs and prepare him to be the kind of husband that I need. It is so amazing to see those prayers played out today!

    Yesterday I started a new job and was telling the people I work with that my husband and I had only known each other 5 months when we got married. They said, "Wow! You must have prayed A LOT!" I told them that I did! Ever since I was 13!

    Waiting isn't easy, I've been there. Sometimes are easier, sometimes are much more difficult. But I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, it is completely worth it to wait for the man God has in store for you <3 *hugs*

  16. This is so wonderful friend! I'm taking part on #prayerdare and praying for my future husband. Its really giving me some perspective on what I actually want from a relationship.

  17. I just love your sweet words! I'm just now sitting down to catch up on your blog. I have been following you for a little over a year now, and I've thought it since I first found you how perfect you and my brother-in-law would be together. I've heard him talk about honoring his future wife. If you ever go to Washington D.C., I would have to give you his contact information ;)

  18. Thank you soooooo much!! I love this post. I'm new to your blog and I've been praying that God will help me to wait patiently and confidently for my future husband, but during the time that I am waiting to grow in my relationship with Him, to enjoy and have fun with my life, and to also grow myself. Thank you for your blog, it is a blessing <3

  19. Love this. I've never been in a relationship and I'm almost 20... getting to the age where SO many people I know are getting engaged. Sometimes it is so difficult and I feel like no guy is never going to be interested in me. (My self image doesn't help matters lol) But I know that God has someone for me in His time, and I'm trying to use this time to better myself. Your words are beautiful, dear Erin!


sweet friends, share your heart.

"kind words are like honey...sweet..and healing.." -proverbs 16:24.


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